Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
