Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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