he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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