Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
