I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
