Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
