i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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