why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
