I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
