South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
