I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
