I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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