i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You smell like stripper and shame
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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