My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
