So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
