A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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