If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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