I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
