Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
