my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
