Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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