Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
