My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize