The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
