what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize