And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize