Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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