Umm I'm too high to move.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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