I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she told me i tasted like america
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is it penis luge time yet?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
