how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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