I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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