wat bout pragnant strippers??
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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