going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
