glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
