the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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