is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
two words...techno handjob
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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