Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
