i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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