dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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