you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
