Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize