we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
