need another drink. this is the easiest way
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
