she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I cut my penus on the lid.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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