You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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