You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
