Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize