why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
