what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
