I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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