At least make sure they are 18
Why
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
