): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
