i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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