"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize
