ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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