I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
