it wasn't lemon gatorade
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
