Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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