Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize