she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
