honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
