batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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