Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
